Friday, January 23, 2015

Trash Day


I cannot help but look into people’s recycling bins as I take a morning walk with Tylir (son) and Penny (dog). It is snooping to be sure but since the contents are right there out in the open for any passerby to see, I believe it is legal. I imagine all kinds of things about what type of people might have consumed the goods that once lived inside those boxes and cans. And, of course, I use it as an opportunity to judge people and feel better about myself. My neighbor across the street most definitely had a long week. A ton of Budweiser cans are in that bin, each one systematically smashed. I always hide our empty wine bottles under our organic milk boxes. I judge and wish not to be judged in return. Then there’s the bins with pizza boxes. I am just straight jealous of them. Already planning on some pizza for diner tonight. Some people don’t recycle at all…

It’s actually a complicated bit of psychology for me, recycling. I feel I am the type of person who recycles. I likely pride myself on that. But I am tired of washing out those yogurt containers and sometimes I just through them in the garbage and it feels sooooooo good. Rebel, rebel, how could they know? Hot tramp, I love you so.

And, please, don’t get me started on these pureed fruit pouches I buy for my spoiled kids. Gogo squeeze, I think that’s what we get. Some cute little animated dancing fruits on the pouches. I keep telling hubs to invent something so we can be millionaires. Why didn’t we think of this?! Anyway, you can save these empty pouches and upcycle them by sending them back to this company terracycle. I had a big paper bag of these taunting little pouches in my pantry for 6 months! I was so tired of seeing them in there and collecting them. I think it took me 2 ½ months to send them in which is pretty ridiculous. For free you can just drop the box at UPS and voila you are done. I told myself I am just going to recycle them from now on I mean really. Then I checked the terracycle website to see exactly what they do to incentivize you to send back pouches. Well, with the points I earned, I bought a baby chick for a family in need, gave one person 16 weeks of fresh drinking water and made a donation to Sandy Hook Elementary school. Looks like some pretty amazing things can come from me being slightly inconvenienced…

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Anyway


I definitely want some people to take care of me when I am old but for sure, I had no idea the cost. 

My children bring the psychological warfare. 

6:15am. Bedroom doors opens KABLAM

Dear daughter ‘Momma! Wake up it’s time for SCHOOL, you didn’t wake up come onnnnnn!’ Due to a short week I guess her internal calendar and me telling her yesterday that today was Saturday was off. 

6:18am. Chanting rains down from upstairs, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Mommy, Mommy.” There are two of them now jumping up and down in dear son's crib (yes he is still in a crib it’s great). 

And, they are naked. 

An incredible feat that those same children who take 37 minutes to put on enough clothes to go outside can get naked in less than 5 seconds. I haven’t even peed yet but I have fed the dog. 

I go to pee, when I hear ‘Mommy I have to go to the bathroom so bad!!!!’ Yes dear daughter got out of the crib and into the bathroom just as I sat down there. Perhaps she’ll excel at hurdles in high school… 

Dear son's turn, ‘Mommy!!! I need my black car. No not that one the other black car!!!!’ 

6:29am. Head downstairs, Chocolate croissants… YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. Dear duaghter, ‘which one is the biggest one. That’s the one I want.’ 

Dear son to his ‘poisan’, smash, smash, smash, smash. Yum. 

Add in countless, ‘he hit mes’, growls, snatches, screams, and complaints about genitals to the complete inability to listen or clean up anything and that pretty much sums up my day. 

Rant over.