Long time no excuses. I mean it hasn't been that long and I've got plenty of excuses. Don't we all.
Mostly I've been busting my butt trying to balance some newfound freelance work along with, eh, everything else.
It's a freaking good thing I was never a gymnast...
Balance. What a crock. I tried balancing my checkbook way back when such a thing existed. That was funny.
I have this "sense" that if only I could find balance in my life then I'd stop eating humongous brownies left and right.
There's another mommaloger who I like and I think she put it beautifully in her post "I am so lazy." (Don't you love her already!) I feel like if all I had to do was pick two things to give myself to do each day that I'd come out on top. I'd get out from under that pile of, oh pardon me I mean, those piles of laundry AND Arden and I would have that 2 1/2 hour play-doh fest that she's been lobbying for. Or I'd hone my sister's sense of cleanliness and I'd turn this shackalious 1 bedroom Astorian nightmare into a European W Hotel room AND I'd save some energy for YIKES you know what.
Instead I've got this definition of what it means to be a "good" mom, wife, friend, etc. floating around in my head and, I'm not sure it's actually attainable.
Here's what it would look like: Give Arden 100% of my attention whenever possible, keep food in the house and not just the same old snacks please, call your mom, iChat with family, pray, exercise and that means more than just running around after Arden if you want to hit Starbucks later on, get the stickers off the kitchen floor, OMG wash the wall behind the baby's high chair, get your work done because someone's paying you to do it!, sleep schmeep, pet the cat, bathe the dog, while your at it - bathe yourself and maybe take a razor with you for once and what was all that about wanting, craving, needing a creative outlet so how's about a blog posting for cryin' out loud!
You get the picture and you all have your very own snapshot. The list.
Mostly I've been busting my butt trying to balance some newfound freelance work along with, eh, everything else.
It's a freaking good thing I was never a gymnast...
Balance. What a crock. I tried balancing my checkbook way back when such a thing existed. That was funny.
I have this "sense" that if only I could find balance in my life then I'd stop eating humongous brownies left and right.
There's another mommaloger who I like and I think she put it beautifully in her post "I am so lazy." (Don't you love her already!) I feel like if all I had to do was pick two things to give myself to do each day that I'd come out on top. I'd get out from under that pile of, oh pardon me I mean, those piles of laundry AND Arden and I would have that 2 1/2 hour play-doh fest that she's been lobbying for. Or I'd hone my sister's sense of cleanliness and I'd turn this shackalious 1 bedroom Astorian nightmare into a European W Hotel room AND I'd save some energy for YIKES you know what.
Instead I've got this definition of what it means to be a "good" mom, wife, friend, etc. floating around in my head and, I'm not sure it's actually attainable.
Here's what it would look like: Give Arden 100% of my attention whenever possible, keep food in the house and not just the same old snacks please, call your mom, iChat with family, pray, exercise and that means more than just running around after Arden if you want to hit Starbucks later on, get the stickers off the kitchen floor, OMG wash the wall behind the baby's high chair, get your work done because someone's paying you to do it!, sleep schmeep, pet the cat, bathe the dog, while your at it - bathe yourself and maybe take a razor with you for once and what was all that about wanting, craving, needing a creative outlet so how's about a blog posting for cryin' out loud!
You get the picture and you all have your very own snapshot. The list.
I don’t know how our mothers and grandmothers did it, do it. They never, not once, give off an air of needing something. It’s as if I’ve cosmically let them down when I feel overwhelmed and let it show. All I can do now is hone my inner Grandma Marian and strive to be like her with all of my being.
Oh, and the kid at Lomond in the juggling club who couldn't juggle, yea that was me.
Oh, and the kid at Lomond in the juggling club who couldn't juggle, yea that was me.
