Arden must think that means she has to ask 38 times for everything she wants. Or, perhaps she thinks it means it's how many pieces she should rip up her magazine into. I'm pretty sure it is the number of times I tried to stop myself from swearing today... Yikes.
38 kicks, turns and punches are sometimes what my little man does in 38 seconds. I love his wild style already.
It was roughly 38 blocks or 1.2 miles each way on our walk to Michael's today. Call me crazy as I confidently call myself but I needed to stock up on projects for Arden once our little guy makes his appearance. She won't leave me alone for 38 seconds (I've timed it) so I have no idea how I'll manage a newborn too.
38 is definitely the number of times I've said "if you put that in your mouth one more time I'm throwing it in the garbage" today.
I'm not sure exactly how many times today I've named off princesses, asked Arden to say please, been too hard on her or too hard on myself but I'm pretty sure it beats my number of the day. Sesame Street would need a few more picnic tables full of kids to reach our number. What's yours?
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Confession #17: I Wanted This
I know I wanted something. I'm not sure it was this.
I guess I wanted to spend every waking minute answering demands, feeding, changing, clothing and entertaining my minions. Meow, meow. Scratch, scratch. At an absurdly loud volume "Momma, Momma, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The first thing that makes sense to come out of a 2 1/2 year olds' mouth the moment she wakes up at 6:30am.
Arden: "GOLDFISH!!!!"
Me: "How do you ask for something?"
Arden, with a total change of voice from crazed to angelic: "Goldfish please Momma"
One second later.
Arden: "Dinner!!!!!"
Me: "How do you…."
Arden: "Cheese!!! I want cheese!!!"
Me: One more time as I lay into the invisible punching bag in my mind.
I guess I wanted to listen to the Walt Disney channel on Pandora constantly. I must have wanted to play 52 pick-up 52,000 times a day. I definitely wanted to clean crayon off of plates and pick stickers off the floor/toilet/walls/my feet....
I know what I want.
I want to be able to make love to my husband in my bed without fear of waking the baby. I mean I want to do things I don't want my inlaws to read about.... I want to sing at the top of my lungs and dance and let go. I wanna look cute, go to the Feve, grab a Guinness and run into the Punch Brothers doing an impromptu performance of Clara. A brilliant song by a ridiculous band that completely transports me.
We want and we get and then sometimes, we find out there's a lifetime warranty with no return policy.
The only thing that makes sense is to go back for more.
To be continued sometime around May 10th or sooner if I'm lucky. And, I'm not.
I guess I wanted to spend every waking minute answering demands, feeding, changing, clothing and entertaining my minions. Meow, meow. Scratch, scratch. At an absurdly loud volume "Momma, Momma, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The first thing that makes sense to come out of a 2 1/2 year olds' mouth the moment she wakes up at 6:30am.
Arden: "GOLDFISH!!!!"
Me: "How do you ask for something?"
Arden, with a total change of voice from crazed to angelic: "Goldfish please Momma"
One second later.
Arden: "Dinner!!!!!"
Me: "How do you…."
Arden: "Cheese!!! I want cheese!!!"
Me: One more time as I lay into the invisible punching bag in my mind.
I guess I wanted to listen to the Walt Disney channel on Pandora constantly. I must have wanted to play 52 pick-up 52,000 times a day. I definitely wanted to clean crayon off of plates and pick stickers off the floor/toilet/walls/my feet....
I know what I want.
I want to be able to make love to my husband in my bed without fear of waking the baby. I mean I want to do things I don't want my inlaws to read about.... I want to sing at the top of my lungs and dance and let go. I wanna look cute, go to the Feve, grab a Guinness and run into the Punch Brothers doing an impromptu performance of Clara. A brilliant song by a ridiculous band that completely transports me.
We want and we get and then sometimes, we find out there's a lifetime warranty with no return policy.
The only thing that makes sense is to go back for more.
To be continued sometime around May 10th or sooner if I'm lucky. And, I'm not.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Come on Irene
A hurricane is nothing to joke about and we're lucky to be safe and in the position to have some fun as a family. Enjoy our live report on hurricane Irene from the eye of the storm in Astoria, Queens.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Confession #16: Rumble in the Bronx
Unless you are living in a remote outpost of Denali National Park, AK (Hi Corrie!) then you've all heard we felt the earthquake here in NYC yesterday. For your long-lost-to-the-world-of-blogging NYC Momma, here is how the experience played out:
Arden and I were in the bedroom about to change her diaper when I noticed the mirror on the wall bouncing around. I kept walking and saw the photos on the same wall doing the same thing. In my mind there were only two explanations for what was happening...
Reason #1: I shouldn't have had that fat bomb, otherwise known as a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich, on a bagel for cryin' out loud.... WITH cream in my iced coffee for goodness sake... for my second breakfast. That insane indulgence had pushed me over the fat fatty line so much so that I literally shake the stuff on the walls now when I walk.
Only after having that thought did I realize the stuff was bouncing around while I was standing there observing it. I took a look in the living room and noticed Penny kinda sniffing around which was odd. Then for about 6 seconds I got a strange wave of what seemed like vertigo. Something akin to what then end of reality might feel like. Naaa, just the effects of too much coffee.
Ah ha! I then realized what it was.
Reason #2: Just another huge truck passing by, rumbling our apartment-house around again.
At least that is what I thought until I checked my email... You see, I'm one of those I-love-tv-but-think-it’s-evil moms so I had no idea an earthquake was coming. Now that makes perfect sense.
Gotta go. Off to Shake Shack for lunch... :)
Arden and I were in the bedroom about to change her diaper when I noticed the mirror on the wall bouncing around. I kept walking and saw the photos on the same wall doing the same thing. In my mind there were only two explanations for what was happening...
Reason #1: I shouldn't have had that fat bomb, otherwise known as a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich, on a bagel for cryin' out loud.... WITH cream in my iced coffee for goodness sake... for my second breakfast. That insane indulgence had pushed me over the fat fatty line so much so that I literally shake the stuff on the walls now when I walk.
Only after having that thought did I realize the stuff was bouncing around while I was standing there observing it. I took a look in the living room and noticed Penny kinda sniffing around which was odd. Then for about 6 seconds I got a strange wave of what seemed like vertigo. Something akin to what then end of reality might feel like. Naaa, just the effects of too much coffee.
Ah ha! I then realized what it was.
Reason #2: Just another huge truck passing by, rumbling our apartment-house around again.
At least that is what I thought until I checked my email... You see, I'm one of those I-love-tv-but-think-it’s-evil moms so I had no idea an earthquake was coming. Now that makes perfect sense.
Gotta go. Off to Shake Shack for lunch... :)
Friday, May 20, 2011
Confession #15: Doing It All...not
Long time no excuses. I mean it hasn't been that long and I've got plenty of excuses. Don't we all.
Mostly I've been busting my butt trying to balance some newfound freelance work along with, eh, everything else.
It's a freaking good thing I was never a gymnast...
Balance. What a crock. I tried balancing my checkbook way back when such a thing existed. That was funny.
I have this "sense" that if only I could find balance in my life then I'd stop eating humongous brownies left and right.
There's another mommaloger who I like and I think she put it beautifully in her post "I am so lazy." (Don't you love her already!) I feel like if all I had to do was pick two things to give myself to do each day that I'd come out on top. I'd get out from under that pile of, oh pardon me I mean, those piles of laundry AND Arden and I would have that 2 1/2 hour play-doh fest that she's been lobbying for. Or I'd hone my sister's sense of cleanliness and I'd turn this shackalious 1 bedroom Astorian nightmare into a European W Hotel room AND I'd save some energy for YIKES you know what.
Instead I've got this definition of what it means to be a "good" mom, wife, friend, etc. floating around in my head and, I'm not sure it's actually attainable.
Here's what it would look like: Give Arden 100% of my attention whenever possible, keep food in the house and not just the same old snacks please, call your mom, iChat with family, pray, exercise and that means more than just running around after Arden if you want to hit Starbucks later on, get the stickers off the kitchen floor, OMG wash the wall behind the baby's high chair, get your work done because someone's paying you to do it!, sleep schmeep, pet the cat, bathe the dog, while your at it - bathe yourself and maybe take a razor with you for once and what was all that about wanting, craving, needing a creative outlet so how's about a blog posting for cryin' out loud!
You get the picture and you all have your very own snapshot. The list.
Mostly I've been busting my butt trying to balance some newfound freelance work along with, eh, everything else.
It's a freaking good thing I was never a gymnast...
Balance. What a crock. I tried balancing my checkbook way back when such a thing existed. That was funny.
I have this "sense" that if only I could find balance in my life then I'd stop eating humongous brownies left and right.
There's another mommaloger who I like and I think she put it beautifully in her post "I am so lazy." (Don't you love her already!) I feel like if all I had to do was pick two things to give myself to do each day that I'd come out on top. I'd get out from under that pile of, oh pardon me I mean, those piles of laundry AND Arden and I would have that 2 1/2 hour play-doh fest that she's been lobbying for. Or I'd hone my sister's sense of cleanliness and I'd turn this shackalious 1 bedroom Astorian nightmare into a European W Hotel room AND I'd save some energy for YIKES you know what.
Instead I've got this definition of what it means to be a "good" mom, wife, friend, etc. floating around in my head and, I'm not sure it's actually attainable.
Here's what it would look like: Give Arden 100% of my attention whenever possible, keep food in the house and not just the same old snacks please, call your mom, iChat with family, pray, exercise and that means more than just running around after Arden if you want to hit Starbucks later on, get the stickers off the kitchen floor, OMG wash the wall behind the baby's high chair, get your work done because someone's paying you to do it!, sleep schmeep, pet the cat, bathe the dog, while your at it - bathe yourself and maybe take a razor with you for once and what was all that about wanting, craving, needing a creative outlet so how's about a blog posting for cryin' out loud!
You get the picture and you all have your very own snapshot. The list.
I don’t know how our mothers and grandmothers did it, do it. They never, not once, give off an air of needing something. It’s as if I’ve cosmically let them down when I feel overwhelmed and let it show. All I can do now is hone my inner Grandma Marian and strive to be like her with all of my being.
Oh, and the kid at Lomond in the juggling club who couldn't juggle, yea that was me.
Oh, and the kid at Lomond in the juggling club who couldn't juggle, yea that was me.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
To My Mother
Your beauty and strength
glisten -
there
mine
Your mother, your mother's mother, your mother's mother's mother........
i'm listening
You never once said, "One day you'll see."
if only my eyes would never shut
mean
me
Your gazing upon her my gazing upon you gazing
joy
What can be said of a woman who gives all and loves all
me
mine
mimi
glisten -
there
mine
Your mother, your mother's mother, your mother's mother's mother........
i'm listening
You never once said, "One day you'll see."
if only my eyes would never shut
mean
me
Your gazing upon her my gazing upon you gazing
joy
What can be said of a woman who gives all and loves all
me
mine
mimi
_
Friday, April 22, 2011
Confession #14: Mispronunciation Communication
In the grocery store the other day, Arden pointed to a bag of tea biscuit cookies with a very proud look on her face and said "F$&@!". That's right, the one that rhymes with stuck.
I take complete responsibility for this. I always encourage her to talk and try my darnedest to figure out what she's trying to say. It's so fun to communicate with her like this and I won't pretend the mispronunciations aren't hilarious.
The tea biscuit incident occurred because she thought they were crackers and f$&@ is how she says cracker. Please don't ask me why. A linguist would know... Too many hard sounds and f$&@ is the best she can do. It's pretty impressive how babies will try to say words even if there's no chance they'll be able to really say it. For instance: helicopter is "pop!", computer is "tuter" and avocado is just plain "cado".
One of Arden’s playmates has the exact same explicative way of saying fire truck. At least that's the right idea. Does anyone remember that scene from Backdraft... I mean, hot.
Being able to understand Arden is so important to me. I think all moms are able to understand about 95% of what their kids "say" to them even before they can speak. That's why I was so frustrated when I could not figure out a sign that Arden was doing. A little while back we were in the bath singing songs and she started to pump her fists together as if she was saying she wanted to fight me but that's not what she meant. She was trying to tell me a song that she wanted me to sing and I could not figure it out. She kept pumping her fists together shaking her head no, no to every song title I offered up. It drove me crazy! As time went by, she kept trying that sign to see if I'd figured it out. She is very persistent. Well, one day, while we were watching a bit of Aladdin together, she started to pump her fists together during the song "One Jump" which is a song where Aladdin is being chased by guards through the streets of Agrabah. It's a fight/chase scene that I now have the pleasure of singing and reenacting to her multiple times daily. Thank you Alan Menken.
As I wrote the first part of this posting about a week ago Arden’s ability to pronounce multi-syllable words has increased. So, if you come over for a visit and she calls you a f$&@er, you’ll know she’s just hungry.
I'd love to hear about your own trials of communication! Please feel free to comment and share.
I take complete responsibility for this. I always encourage her to talk and try my darnedest to figure out what she's trying to say. It's so fun to communicate with her like this and I won't pretend the mispronunciations aren't hilarious.
The tea biscuit incident occurred because she thought they were crackers and f$&@ is how she says cracker. Please don't ask me why. A linguist would know... Too many hard sounds and f$&@ is the best she can do. It's pretty impressive how babies will try to say words even if there's no chance they'll be able to really say it. For instance: helicopter is "pop!", computer is "tuter" and avocado is just plain "cado".
One of Arden’s playmates has the exact same explicative way of saying fire truck. At least that's the right idea. Does anyone remember that scene from Backdraft... I mean, hot.
Being able to understand Arden is so important to me. I think all moms are able to understand about 95% of what their kids "say" to them even before they can speak. That's why I was so frustrated when I could not figure out a sign that Arden was doing. A little while back we were in the bath singing songs and she started to pump her fists together as if she was saying she wanted to fight me but that's not what she meant. She was trying to tell me a song that she wanted me to sing and I could not figure it out. She kept pumping her fists together shaking her head no, no to every song title I offered up. It drove me crazy! As time went by, she kept trying that sign to see if I'd figured it out. She is very persistent. Well, one day, while we were watching a bit of Aladdin together, she started to pump her fists together during the song "One Jump" which is a song where Aladdin is being chased by guards through the streets of Agrabah. It's a fight/chase scene that I now have the pleasure of singing and reenacting to her multiple times daily. Thank you Alan Menken.
As I wrote the first part of this posting about a week ago Arden’s ability to pronounce multi-syllable words has increased. So, if you come over for a visit and she calls you a f$&@er, you’ll know she’s just hungry.
I'd love to hear about your own trials of communication! Please feel free to comment and share.
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